Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Tired because of people and temperament?

I am tired. And I realize I am tired for a number of reasons.  The first is because I have been interacting with too many people the last 4 or 5 days. And this reason is related to my temperament. I am an introvert and too much such "prolonged overexposure" drains me.

Can't be helped as my job is essentially about people - helping people, counselling people, teaching people, sharing with people, encouraging people, discipling people, organizing people, visiting people, talking with people, praying for people, exhorting people, even rebuking people, welcoming people, listening to people, crying with people, laughing with people, singing with people, debating with people, consulting with people, communicating with people ... you get the picture.

Even more amazing is that I chose this job, or more accurately "my job chose me". Three weeks in Jeremiah 1 has been helpful to me. See here, here and here. If I was not called to be a Pastor, I would have long ago have become crazy! I am not naturally cut out to be a pastor! Too draining.

My "hero" this year may end up being Jeremiah (again!) I am jumping way ahead of myself in terms of my devotional thoughts based on Jeremiah but it's chapter 20 so at the rate I am going with my Pastors notes (3 editions and I am finally done with chapter 1 :-)) I may not reach Jeremiah 20 for a long time so here it is ... as he describes so well the importance of God's hold on his life that compels him to do what God wants him to do even though he "hates" it.

 7 O LORD, you deceived; me, and I was deceived you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me.
 8 Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction. So the word of the LORD has brought me insult and reproach all day long.
 9 But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

Except that for me I have had months of POSITIVE FEEDBACK and much patience with my "craziness" . Nothing negative at all. This actually is a pretty amazing thing to me. Thanks be to God!!! And yet I am tired.... weird, isn't it? This is why I am convinced that the main reason for my tiredness is my temperament and my need as a pastor to be with people. A small factor may be that I am a little under the weather but it's nothing serious, Kind of like running on 90% but 90% is an A minus! :-) Not a complaint as my fellow pastors might be sorely tempted to do me bodily harm to think that I am complaining when everything is going well. LOL. After all, it's a dream situation. Just an observation.

It's an interesting situation for me right now - more people share with me all kinds of stuff (and I am glad, especially when I am able to help point them to Christ and a truth or two from the Bible). It's great cause this is an indication that more people feel comfortable and trust me more. The flip side that is not so positive is ... more people interaction, especially the more intense kind adds to my tiredness ... emotional drain. 

It does get pretty hard sometimes but it is amazing how much strength comes from God in times of weakness, and of course prayer is an incredible gift from God. I see again and again how God intervenes (in His time and in His special way - often unexpected) because people pray! If this is one of the by products of having to be tired, then it is worth it! :-)

I am learning a lot about putting in place my own coping mechanisms and strangely enough, the discipline and pressure (stress!)  of having to write devotionals and prepare weekly sermons in the midst of so many things to do and people to see and pray may actually be also helping me lean more on God. This is the toughest preaching schedule I have to date - 12 Sundays with just 2 Sundays off. BTW, this wasn't planned by choice - quite a few cancellations or requests for a change of date by guest speakers etc. 3 down and 9 to go ....

For now I certainly do love being Pastor of KCC! :-)


  1. take it easy, brother. God told Elijah that he has 7000 other prophets who havent bowed their knees to Baal. Rest in the confidence of His sovereignty and grace.

  2. Mickey ... Mystery person ...

    Thanks for your comments. I should clarify that I am "taking it easy". One coping mechanism for me is to block in rest when there us a lull in activity.I just woke up from a great 3 hour sleep after a nice dinner. It's close to 11 pm now and I am up :-) have to pick up my so soon bit then after that it's back to bed! :-)

    I agree that there are many others around to help. Team work! Community! One reason why I love it here is that I am not

  3. Oops ... Hit send by accident. ...

    ... I live it here because my church leaders know and appreciate that I work hard and do my best and do not have unrealistic expectations from me. They are very supportive!