The Ideal / Perfect pastor
I had better not add my own lest it be misunderstood. LOL
The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes.
He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings.
He works from 8am until midnight and is also the church janitor.
The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.
He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience.
Above all, he is handsome.
The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens.
He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.
He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.
The perfect pastor always has time for church council and all of its committees.
He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.
The perfect pastor is always in the next church over!
If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this notice to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list.
If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 1,643 pastors. One of them should be perfect. Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.
Instructions: choose no more than 12 attributes/job descriptions that you believe are essential in a pastor. Put your answers and any reactions to the exercise in the comments box and, in a week, I’ll put mine down too.
A pastor should:
1) be an effective preacher/speaker
2) continue to develop his/her theological and biblical skills
3) help people develop their spiritual life
4) help people work together in solving problems
5) be effective in planning and leading worship
6) have a sense of the direction of his/her ministry
7) regularly encourage people to participate in denominational activities and programs
8) help people understand and act upon issues of social justice
9) be a helpful counselor
10) minister effectively to people in crisis situations
11) make pastoral calls on people in hospitals and nursing homes and those confined to their homes
12) make pastoral calls on members not confined to a home or in a hospital
13) be a good leader
14) be effective in working with children
15) build a sense of fellowship among the people with whom he/she works
16) help people develop their leadership abilities
17) be an effective administrator
18) be effective with committees and officers
19) be an effective teacher
20) have a strong commitment to the educational ministry of the church
21) be effective in working with adults
22) inspire a sense of confidence
23) work regularly at bringing new members into the church
24) regularly encourage support of the denomination’s missions and outreach
25) reach out to inactive members
26) work regularly in the development of stewardship growth
27) be active in ecumenical relationships and encourage the church to participate
28) be a person who cultivates a close, devotional relationship with God.
29) write clearly and well
30) work well on a team
31) be effective in working with youth
32) organize people for community action
33) be skilled in planning and leading programs
34) plan and lead well-organized meetings
35) encourage people to relate their faith to their daily lives
36) be accepting of people with divergent backgrounds and traditions
37) encourage others to assume and carry out leadership
38) be mature and emotionally secure
39) have a strong commitment and loyalty to the church’s denomination
40) maintain confidentiality
41) be a compassionate and caring person, sensitive to others’ needs
42) deal effectively with conflict.
I pick 1,3,6,8,9,13,15,24,35,38,4,42
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