Find the Source of Your Loneliness




One of my favourite authors is the late Henri Nouwen. Every time I read something from him, he almost always makes me pause to reflect and pray. 

How relevant and timely is this excerpt from his book "You are the beloved". More and more I read and hear about the increase in people struggling with mental health related challenges. 

One of the most common is the feeling of loneliness, even among Christians, which Henri Nouwen (below) rightly describes can lead to depression if not dealt with properly. I can certainly identify with this first hand. 

Read what he says and I hope it helps as he gives advice that he himself followed in his life.  The highlighted in bold part is my doing. 

Whenever you feel lonely, you must try to find the source of this feeling. You are inclined either to run away from your loneliness or to dwell in it. When you run away from it, your loneliness does not really diminish; you simply force it out of your mind temporarily. When you start dwelling in it, your feelings only become stronger, and you slip into depression.

The spiritual task is not to escape your loneliness, not to let yourself drown in it, but to find its source. This is not so easy to do, but when you can somehow identify the place from which these feelings emerge, they will lose some of their power over you. This identification is not an intellectual task; it is a task of the heart. With your heart you must search for that place without fear.

This is an important search because it leads you to discern something good about yourself. The pain of your loneliness may be rooted in your deepest vocation. You might find that your loneliness is linked to your call to live completely for God. Thus your loneliness may be revealed to you as the other side of your unique gift. Once you can experience in your innermost being the truth of this, you may find your loneliness not only tolerable but even fruitful. What seemed primarily painful may then become a feeling that, though painful, opens for you the way to an even deeper knowledge of God’s love.

I should add that lest this seems like God demands service in order to alleviate our loneliness, this is not the case. It is first finding God and realizing and experiencing the love of God - how we are God's beloved. Then when we grow to realise our life finds fullest meaning in God, will we naturally seek and desire to live fully for God. 

Ups and downs will happen, and there will be periods of loneliness (even Jesus Christ on earth experienced loneliness). BUT the loneliness doesn't last long!

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