I woke up a few times again last night (to use the bathroom) ... weak bladder problem and I suspect I may end up with a prostrate problem some years down the road *sigh*... but I digress. Anyway among the dreams that I remember from last night was attending and participating in a funeral (the details were too bizarre so I won't even try to describe it) but the emotions were rather strong. There was a lot of peace and calmness and even joy, but then there was also some sadness, a tinge of regret? and at one stage for a brief moment fear (like ghosts and demons).
When I woke up what came to mind immediately was my thoughts on a few passages of Scripture that I have been reflecting on for the past week.
The first is the passage on Ecclesiastes that I posted yesterday for my Pastor's Notes. These were thoughts that I wrote out but never made in the final piece as I limit myself to around 300 to 380 words (on the very rare occasion) in order to fit the bulletin space. The second was my Sunday sermon on the Prodigal Son / Prodigal Father. And the third was my bed time reading and also my general sermon preparation for a sermon that is only due in mid July- which happens to be the Parable of the Rich Fool.
My thoughts were drawn to the brevity of life and I had examples in mind of lives that were lived well and not so well. In writing my Pastor's Notes I remember having to pause and pray a number of times for people I know who are have serious physical problems - some more advanced in years than others. It seems so many people I know are not well. I realized too that my thoughts of getting older (in a few years I would be 50) surfaced again in my dreams. A few "regrets" I suppose but more on how little time I had left and a bit of frustration at seeing many people I know who are younger not seeming to understand the precious gift of life they have been given by God.
Long wrestled issues of the elder son came out. Not so much my personal issues but somehow other people's "possible issues"? Hard to explain this but it is generally about the "unfairness" of life. Yet in a real way, also that feeling of peace and rest ...
And of course the last thing on my mind when I went to sleep was the Rich Fool! :-) so added to the mix was more thoughts and images on lives lived in relation to not just money but self, relationships, community and justice.
In my dream there were images that related to the question of "when I die, would I have achieved what God wants me to achieve? Would I have become what God wants me to be?" Hard to explain to but it was also related to • Matthew 5:48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Teleios( complete, mature, reaching its end)
Restless bizarre dreams yet again but getting a lot better than my other dreams ...